Author: Kenia M

Losing it

I’ve realized that my weeks aren’t going “good” or “bad” because of the quarantine but because of how I’ve been deciding to see things. It indeed does suck if we’re honest because this whole time I’ve been blaming and judging everything because of the restrictions that have been put on us. However, if people aren’t changing or keep acting like children, it’s because that’s who they are! It sucks it took me this long to realize it finally. Anyways, how have you all been? I know life is somewhat sucky at the moment. Can you believe I’ve spent 8h and 30 minutes as a whole on Netflix this week! That tells you everything. My days have been consisting of work, Netflix, work.

I’ve come to the point like many of my classmates that I no longer care for school. The not being there makes me feel like It’s over. I forget about my assignments and haven’t been making it to classes because I’ve been working every day in the mornings. I just don’t see the point anymore. My mentality is, “ Will I fail a course for not submitting for four weeks?” Well, now that I spelled it out, I think I probably will. Anyways what I’m trying to say is that I’ve had to push myself extra this week. I have no motivation actually to do any of the work. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m currently going through personal issues, and like I said in my last blog, it’s been tough for me to push those two things away from each other. Even though many people see me as a quitter, I am not! I’m the kinda person that will always say she’ll do something but never comes through with it or what my beautiful culture calls it “puro osico.” I’ll say and say I’m over school put at the end of the day my report card won’t come in with a C. Everyone around me is still going crazy over the virus. My mother said she doesn’t care if the quarantine ends; she’s not leaving the house in another month.

Good thing I have a car now because I can’t stand being in this house anymore. This whole lockdown thing has gone wrong for my family; all we do is fight. We all literally can’t stand each other anymore. I can’t wait for it to end so I can leave for Mexico. No, but on a serious note, I think I might spend summer over in Mexico. It’ll be suitable for my family. If we talk about work, nothing has changed. If you want real advice, though, don’t eat there. We’ve been taking measures to protect ourselves but not the people. They don’t care about the customers there, so please be kind to yourself and don’t eat there. I kind of miss seeing my classmates even though I only talk to like three people I miss seeing their faces. I do hope they’re doing fine and that this virus hasn’t affected any of their relatives. As well for my teachers, I hope they’re all doing fine. I hope this whole experiment just helps us appreciate the things we give for granted; school, church, work, movies, stores, food.

See you soon

       Hello again, I honestly like how comfortable it’s starting to feel to just write and let my emotions and feelings out with it not having a purpose. Did that make sense? You see, that’s the thing for my blog entry I mostly have to understand myself and not focus so much on your understanding of it.

Was that rude?

Let me rephrase that; you see, that’s the thing as my blog entry, nope couldn’t do it. Sorry, the truth hurts sometimes, but talking about this have you realized how selfish people could be? I mean, they get some alone time, and now everyone is talking about “CARE FOR YOURSELF; YOU DON’T NEED ANYONE.” Posts like this have been making me very upset! Like? Hello? Do you not see that people are dying because of a P-A-N-D-E-M-I-C? And you’re over here talking about caring for yourself? I mean, don’t get me wrong; there’s nothing wrong with doing so, but is this the most appropriate time for that? I think not. Instead of sharing positivity, you’re sharing posts to make people go and lock themselves away in “Me world.”

However, my week has been pretty good. I was able to go to Mexico during this week, and it was super stress-free and fun except for the part where they locked down the border, and I almost got stuck in the 42nd most dangerous city In the world: Reynosa. Aside from that traumatic experience work has been fun! I’ve been working non-stop.

Where I used to have even up to four days off, I now have two, which is very exciting to me because can you imagine how heavy my check is going to be! People become a lot more rude and dumb by day, but out of the 200 and more people, I attend daily 10 are the sweetest humans to exist, and that makes up for all the ugly. Once again, this whole quarantine deal has been making me very appreciative of the small moments. There are not many nice people out there. It’s like if this disease instead of warming their hearts and making them more careful for one another has built this wall around every single person. At the end of the day, I can’t do anything about it. All I can say is due good to receive good. Love and care for the people around you because if this whole situation we are living through should teach us something is that. As humans, we had reached a point where we believe to be invincible well news flash; we’re not. Life through a huge ball of dirt to all of us and we need to learn how to clean it up before making mud out of it. Like I’ve said before, I send all my love, blessings, and prayers to each and every single person reading this. May God keep our country safe. In the name of Jesus, amen. 

Shockers

      This week was good, but tiring. Everyone at work decided that they’re too scared to go. So I’m basically one of the only ones showing up; therefore, I’m working almost every single day. I might be naive, or I might be brave, but in reality, who cares?

People seem to be getting more worried while I seem to be careless in all sincerity. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been working every single day and being exposed all day long just kind of takes the terror out of it. Anyways, things at work have changed a lot!

As I said, not many are going to work anymore, plus there can only be one client inside the building at a time, and we also have to wear face masks now? That part sucks the most. You literally feel like you’re suffocating all day long. Yesterday one of the clients was a police officer, and he was really kind, and he just kind of made me feel like it was worth still going to work.

If we talk about my classes, those aren’t going well. I’ve had trouble trying to separate my personal problems and school. Before, it was easy because being in an actual building, just kind of made a barrier in my brain, and it pushed everything non-educational out.

But being at home where you literally can’t escape is hard. It’s hard to try and divide time to do all my classwork in the day. In reality, it should be easy, but the truth is it’s not. How do you wake up and decide, “oh, today I’m going to do math and science.” Without being interrupted by your mother telling you to go wash the dishes? This is why I’m tired of this disease. I want it to end already.

Also, something that has been stressing me out Is that I read that all current college classes were going to be “passed,” and I think that sucks. Some people worked very hard for their A just to get a “pass.” Anyways that’s just a thought. At the end of the day, I’m still grateful that at least I’m still working because I know a lot of people who aren’t working at the moment. I’m grateful that my family is safe, and I’m grateful that God allowed us to be alive still. And from the bottom of my heart, I sent blessings to all those in need. I believe in God having a purpose for everything, and I believe that and the end of the day, we all will understand what’s happening. I keep trusting that all this will be over soon. Sometimes we just have to be the light for others even when we’re in need of that light ourselves. Anyways, hoping better days are yet to come. May God keep my classmates and teachers safe. 

Normal

This week was terrible. Last week I was able to go out, and it still didn’t feel entirely on lockdown, but this week, that changed. My mother no longer lets me go out ANYWHERE. However, today I’m going back to work! I’m very excited but scared. I’m happy to get out of the house already and do something different. However, it does frighten me–having some physical contact with so many people. Anyways, school is so much easier. It seems like teachers are patient and understandable. I no longer feel the stress I felt before. So, seeing things better, I think this week was a lot better. I guess I was right things do get better. 

    I’m doing a lot better in my classes now that they’re online. Again, I believe it’s because my teachers are going easier on us; however, that doesn’t bother me. It’s actually fun to see what you discover about yourself and even the people around you after you spend so much time together. During this time of need is when you also realize who’s actually by your side. Not trying to be all dramatic and sentimental, but how many people have looked out for you and asked how you’re doing? At the end of the day, this is a fun experience, right? Too soon to joke?

But no for real: Can you imagine being in your 50s and telling your children how you and the whole country had to go on lockdown because there was a deadly virus killing everyone?—telling them how you had to stay inside and minimize all human contact to try and protect yourself and your loved ones. I can’t wait for a year from now when someone pulls out a show about this. Where everything we’re going through just seems like a distant memory. 

                In all realness, I can’t wait to go back to normal. To be able to go and get some raspas and stop by the dollar store. To be able to give people their food without using a basket. It’s just something that I want to hurry up. Not trying to bring my religiousness into this, but it’s scary to see my country this way. I could go out and start saying that this is in the Bible, and Christ is coming soon, but what good would that do? That would just scare people, not actually cause a conviction in their heart. Anyways, I do miss going to church. They’re all closed and are having service online, but it’s not the same thing. However, I know next week will be even better. Honestly, I can’t wait to see how things clear up. Remember how I said that all that the news was transferring were corona news? Well, this week, they started showcasing other items. 

Turbulence – please fasten your seatbelts.

Turbulence – please fasten your seatbelts.

             This week was bad. Last week I was able to go out, and it still didn’t feel completely on lockdown, but this week, that changed. My mother no longer lets me go out ANYWHERE. However, today I’m going back to work! I’m very excited but scared. I’m happy to get out of the house already and do something different; however; it really does frighten me into having some physical contact with so many people. Anyways, school is so much easier. It seems like teachers are patient and understandable. I no longer feel the stress I felt before. So, seeing things better, I think this week was actually a lot better. I guess I was right things do get better. 

    I’m doing a lot better in my classes now that they’re online. Again, I believe it’s because my teachers are going easier on us; however, that doesn’t bother me. It’s actually fun to see what you discover about yourself and even the people around you after you spend so much time together. During this time of need is when you also realize who’s actually by your side. Not trying to be all dramatic and sentimental, but how many people have actually looked out for you and asked how you’re doing? At the end of the day this is a fun experience right? Too soon to joke? But no for real can you imagine being in your 50s and telling your children how you and the whole country had to go on lockdown because there was a deadly virus killing everyone—telling them how you literally had to stay inside and minimize all human contact to try and protect yourself and your loved ones. I can’t wait for a year from now when someone pulls out a show about this. Where everything we’re going through just seems like a distant memory. 

                In all realness, I can’t wait to actually go back to normal. To be able to go and get some raspas and stop by the dollar store. To be able to give people their food without using a basket. It’s just something that I actually want to hurry up. Not trying to bring my religiousness into this, but it’s actually scary to see my country this way. I could go out and start saying that this is in the Bible and Christ is coming soon but what good would that do? That would just scare people not actually cause a conviction in their heart. Anyways, I do miss going to church. They’re all closed and are having service online, but it’s not the same thing. However, I know next week will be even better. Honestly, I can’t wait to see how things clear up. Remember how I said that all that the news was transferring were corona news? Well, this week, they actually started showcasing other items.

Mother and baby wearing crazy wigs.

“It’ll be okay”

 

Mother and baby wearing crazy wigs.

Let’s go out

      Last week was a fuss. I was waking up every day at noon with more than 15 emails from every single one of my teachers. Moments like this make you appreciate everything. For example, did you ever realize how much time we actually had in our hands because the school would make us wake up early? Just a thought. Anyways, I’ve learned that to be able to sleep now; I actually had to start taking these melatonin gummies. It helps me sleep without overthinking every possible scenario that can happen in the next couple of weeks, and the best part is it allows me to wake up early without being tired. 

        You see, this deadly virus has caused a whole lot of changes. I am starting with the fact that we no longer have a school. The district says we’ll be back by April 30, but I highly doubt that. It’s a bit of a shock when you actually step out of your daily routine and realize that you actually have no freaking idea what to do—adding to that, that we can’t actually go out anywhere or if you’re not a responsible citizen and you’re not protecting yourself and others and going out. However, in this whole mess, I’m still going to work. You’d be surprised to see how many people actually will put themselves in danger and create physical contact with you for a whopper. The amount of income the store is making is basically the same. Our working habits have changed though, we now use gloves for everything and wash our hands every 30 minutes. We also have fewer staff working during the same shift, which is totally a bummer because I already get a crappy paycheck. Imagine what it will be with my two days of work. It’s actually sad though the fact that many people aren’t getting any money to be able to provide to their families. I mean, I don’t really need the money since I’m working for myself, but what about those people who actually have to support their families? That’s scary. 

      I’ve been watching the news every single day with my mother, and Even though this pandemic is really dangerous, I believe it would actually bring some relief and decrease the hysteria if they would actually talk about something else. I mean LITERALLY, a whole hour just talking about how people are being infected and dying do they actually realize how much effect this news causes to people? I would doubt it if they did, they would know that the people actually need to start inhaling something different. 

      Aside from all the crap, this pandemic has brought my family back together, and every day is a movie night, apparently. That’s okay though I love them, and before I was always stuck between school and work plus church that we never really had time to or I never had time to be with them. It’s fun to see what my mother is doing to try and cheer the whole house up. 

 

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