I’ve realized that my weeks aren’t going “good” or “bad” because of the quarantine but because of how I’ve been deciding to see things. It indeed does suck if we’re honest because this whole time I’ve been blaming and judging everything because of the restrictions that have been put on us. However, if people aren’t changing or keep acting like children, it’s because that’s who they are! It sucks it took me this long to realize it finally. Anyways, how have you all been? I know life is somewhat sucky at the moment. Can you believe I’ve spent 8h and 30 minutes as a whole on Netflix this week! That tells you everything. My days have been consisting of work, Netflix, work.

I’ve come to the point like many of my classmates that I no longer care for school. The not being there makes me feel like It’s over. I forget about my assignments and haven’t been making it to classes because I’ve been working every day in the mornings. I just don’t see the point anymore. My mentality is, “ Will I fail a course for not submitting for four weeks?” Well, now that I spelled it out, I think I probably will. Anyways what I’m trying to say is that I’ve had to push myself extra this week. I have no motivation actually to do any of the work. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m currently going through personal issues, and like I said in my last blog, it’s been tough for me to push those two things away from each other. Even though many people see me as a quitter, I am not! I’m the kinda person that will always say she’ll do something but never comes through with it or what my beautiful culture calls it “puro osico.” I’ll say and say I’m over school put at the end of the day my report card won’t come in with a C. Everyone around me is still going crazy over the virus. My mother said she doesn’t care if the quarantine ends; she’s not leaving the house in another month.

Good thing I have a car now because I can’t stand being in this house anymore. This whole lockdown thing has gone wrong for my family; all we do is fight. We all literally can’t stand each other anymore. I can’t wait for it to end so I can leave for Mexico. No, but on a serious note, I think I might spend summer over in Mexico. It’ll be suitable for my family. If we talk about work, nothing has changed. If you want real advice, though, don’t eat there. We’ve been taking measures to protect ourselves but not the people. They don’t care about the customers there, so please be kind to yourself and don’t eat there. I kind of miss seeing my classmates even though I only talk to like three people I miss seeing their faces. I do hope they’re doing fine and that this virus hasn’t affected any of their relatives. As well for my teachers, I hope they’re all doing fine. I hope this whole experiment just helps us appreciate the things we give for granted; school, church, work, movies, stores, food.

Kenia Martinez 

Journalism 

August 19 , 2019 

Kenia Martinez 

““When it rains look for rainbows , when it’s dark look for stars.” That is one of My favorite quotes because I feel like it explains me to its full extend. I’m the type of person who always tries to see the best either in someone or in a situation. Even though that wasn’t always my motive.” Kenia Martinez was born on october 25, 2002. Her mother was pregnant when she crossed over from Mexico to try and seek for a better life for her sister and Her so she came to the United states. From the point that she was born her parents separated. Her biological father ran off back to Mexico leaving her mother to see for herself and her daughters. Her mother worked hard every single day in any job she could attain to try and provide for Kenia and her sister. After two years of them being in this country her mother met a man who became their stepfather who automatically became their father. She was so young when her mother decided to start a life with this man that the only paternal image She has is of him. It amazed her to see how someone can love and take as his own two girls that weren't even his, Someone that in a short period of time could love those who aren't even his blood. Through the years her family was absolutely amazing. They lived in a large piece of land that soon turned into a small version of a ranch. Kenia grew up graining pieces of corn to give to the chickens. While giving all waste of food to the pigs out in the back. While learning to go out and walk and run with the dogs. When She was six, her mother started going to a church that was right around the corner. They went to every service and soon christianity became a part of  their lives. To the point where this religion became more than that and became a lifestyle. This lifestyle soon brought problems to her parents. It turned to such an immense issue between them that when She was ten they seperated. Thankfully throughout the years her parents had been building a house at a different piece of land and that's where her mother took her sister and her. It was a very rough time in her life. Her biological father had already left her and She was okay with that because at the time this other man came and took his spot. Not only did he take his place but he did an incredible job at it and now he was leaving too. Her heart was broken. Moving in to the new house was harder than the thought of her ten year old self had imagined. This place to her was a “house” not a home. As She walked in and saw how there was no walls in this place all there was there where sheets hanging from the ceiling to separate the rooms from each other. The circumstances that they were living in was something She had never expected. She never thought that all they would have to eat would be eggs and beans. She never thought that during the winter they would have no warmth at their own home. She never thought that every shower was going to be with cold water because they didn’t have enough money to buy a boiler. Even though life on their own was hard she was grateful for everything that her mother did to support them. To give them the essential things that they needed every single day. During this time They also started attending a different school which was also a huge transition for Kenia. She moved to a complete different district where things ran very different than they did at her old school. She felt lost. Eventually She adapted to all the new things that came into her life. She made friends and focused in school. She was very grateful for the people who came into her life at those circumstances. She is especially very thankful for a boy named michael. This little kid came into her life and gave her the support She needed at those times. Her self esteem was so much healthier because of him that at the end of her 5th grade year at school her poem got inserted into this competition and it actually won. She now has that poem published in a book that contains all the other poems from across the district that also won. Sadly, She never got to thank michael for being her shoulder so many times. He became her best friend and the one person She enjoyed attending school for. After a couple months went by her mother started dating this man she met at church. She asked her daughters if they were okay with her dating this man and her sister automatically said yes and Kenia didn’t understand why her sister  would be okay with her mother dating this man that they didn’t even know. She didn’t want to allow another male into her mother’s life because it had just been months since her father had left them but She knew how much her mother had been hurting. She had heard all the times her mother cried before she fell asleep so even though She didn’t want this man in her life She accepted him because She wanted to see her mother happy again. She eventually gave in and accepted her mother's decision to start dating this man. By this point She was also about to start middle school which also meant starting all over again because all the 5th graders were separated into different middle schools which meant that She had to let go of those friends She had just made. To add on to that weight She sadly didn’t learn to separate her personal problems with her education. A couple months later her mother confessed to her sister and Her that she was pregnant. Her emotions where all over the place. Part of her felt joyful because She was going to have another sibling but the other part felt angry and disappointed. Her 11 year old self was still holding on to the last strand of hope that her parents were going to reconcile and that everything was going to go back to normal. She believed that She was going to see her dad again, and that She was going to go back to feeding the animals, that She was going to go back and see her old friends once again. She just stood there and stared at her mother as she gave them the news of the baby that was coming along the way. At the moment She didn’t realize that She had done this but looking back at it now She sees how She let all her frustration out in school. As she started her six grade year her personality started shaping into someone She wasn't from the start of the school She started hanging out with the wrong crowd. Hanging out with this new group of people influenced her to start acting in a way that made her so immature and selfish. She started talking back to all her teachers, while skipping class all the time, She started to destroy school property just for “fun”. She started getting in fights with people and starting drama with everyone She could because of the anger that She carried inside her. It got to the point where as a six grader she accepted to try and smoke weed. she didn’t realize that throughout her break out she was making her mother suffer. Her mother was the one getting calls from school all the time. She was the one having to pick kenia up from school every time they suspended her. Kenia now regrets taking the wrong path at that time in her life because by doing so she took a step that lead her to rush so many events in her life. After a whole year of misbehaving and acting out the school decided to expel her. she says that what hurt her the most in that moment was seeing the disappointment in her mother every time she looked at her. Everything changed when she moved to her new school. she decided she wanted something different for herself. she wanted to start over. she no longer wanted to be known as the little girl who didn’t have her feet on the ground or the disappointment of a daughter title she had gained for herself. At this new school from the start she tried to focus on the good things. To her surprise the school that she started attending also belonged the boy who had helped her through her hard times. she was so happy when she found out that michael attended this school. Looking back to it she says that maybe was selfish with michael. He was someone that she didn't want to lose so to try and prevent that she always holded on so tight to him to the point where she was hurting him. she never realized that she was the hold back to him becoming the best version of himself. Shortly after being in the school she joined sports. At this school and like many others to be allowed to play you have to pass all your classes so this was the push she needed to concentrate on her classes and start using all the potential that she had left stored inside herself. her grades soon went up and she started succeeding a lot in sports. The success was so good that her 8th grade year the girls soccer team made it to district! Since she started to get better she learned to heal. Through healing she was able to forgive her mother for what she thought she had done to her. When in reality her mother never did anything wrong. Now she has a beautiful younger sister. The days where everything is going wrong, she is the one to bring a smile to her face. Not only that but she now also has an adorable baby brother. She feels blessed for the family she has and she also feels blessed for what she went through because it helped her grow up and see things from a completely different view. Now she has an amazing relationship with her mother's husband. Not only that but she now belongs to Jimmy Carter Early College High School. her sophomore year the school became recognized as a national blue ribbon school. The blue ribbon award is giving to those schools who over all become graded and their average grading comes out to be an A. her school had a dinner for all the teachers to give them thanks for all their hard work and dedication. She was invited as a student to speak and be able to thank every single one of my teachers. she also joined a sports tournament that takes places in her school and the girls volleyball team made it to the finals! she’s currently a junior trying to amend many mistakes that she has done by trying to show others that she is better than the thought they have of her. Surprisingly michael and her still attend the same school. Sadly the relationship between him and her is no longer there. He became someone who she simply smiles at the hallway and every now and then exchanges a couple of words with or even a text message. A part of her is still very hurt for losing his friendship but at the end of the day she smiles because her best friend became an amazing person. she’s currently trying to be wiser in the way she acts and the decisions she makes. she’s also focusing all her energy on her education. she’s decided that she’s going to make her mother's hard work and suffering be worth something. “Remember to always find the best of your days , see the beauty in the bad moments , and value everything in your life.”

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