For many High-achieving students, success comes at a hidden cost: sleepless nights, persistent voluntary pressure, and an overwhelming fear of failure that never quite fades. While their accomplishments are evident, many don’t see the sacrifices that they make behind the scenes.
It’s easy to think of high achievers as role models, but what happens when the pressure gets too much? The constant need to be perfect can take a toll, even if it’s not apparent to others. For students like Jose and Ruben Flores, success isn’t just about what they have achieved; it’s about maintaining a standard they must always meet. But there are so many unseen sacrifices and mental burdens that come along with it.
High-achieving student Ruben Flores views success as a personal goal.” Perfection? For me, it’s someone who manages to complete all their goals and strives for more even when they achieve them,” he explained. Ruben feels minimal pressure; if anything, it mostly comes from his parents and the fear of letting them down.
However, the pressure to be the best can take a toll, especially when external praise becomes the main motivator. School Counselor Ana Salinas has seen how this affects students. “For the most part, what I have seen is students struggling with anxiety, and then that sometimes leads to depression,” she explains. “Some students get the perfect grade, and instead of celebrating, they immediately worry about maintaining it.”
For some students, failing isn’t an option, but the fear is always there. Jose admits, “I do feel pressure… and I think it comes from actually, just myself.” Even without any external pressure, internal expectations can be really overwhelming.
Ruben, on the other hand, has a different mindset. “I just don’t expect failure. I try my hardest, and if I fail, well, that’s fine with me,” he states. This perspective is very distinct from those who feel like failure means they aren’t good enough.
Salinas encourages students to set realistic goals. “I tell students to look past high school—where do you want to be? Set goals that align with your future instead of fixating on perfection in the present.”
Finding a balance between excellence and mental well-being can be very challenging but important. Jose turns to hobbies he likes to relieve stress, while Ruben finds peace by distancing himself from things that cause him emotional stress. “When I’m not at my best, I really like to just take my mind off of it, take a break, and it doesn’t affect me emotionally,” Ruben shared.
Salinas stressed the importance of balance. “The key is having something that serves as a stress reliever, whether it be spending time with friends, going for a walk, or simply taking a break from the pressure,” she advised.
The most common misconception about high achievers is that they don’t have a lie outside of academics. “People assume they don’t have a life—that all they do is study,” Salinas said. “But labeling students this way ignores their struggles and individuality.”
While excelling in school is very admirable, it should not come at the expense of mental health. Ruben says that the constant pressure to meet expectations can be very draining. “People expecting a lot out of you really takes a toll on your mental health,” he said. “The only motivation you should have is from yourself.”
With so many students struggling with the weight of expectations, the challenge remains: How can schools create a culture of excellence without burning students out? Salinas believes that it starts with creating open lines of communication and providing support systems. “Schools need to create environments where students feel comfortable expressing their needs. It’s about balance—academic success should coexist with emotional well-being.
For those who feel weighed down by the pressure to be “the best,” her message is clear: “It’s okay to strive for excellence, but don’t forget to think about what brings you joy. Find balance, and remember that perfection is not the goal—growth is.”